Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
You deserve a T who doesn't take you for granted. Could you raise this with him.and gauge his response?
I adored my ex T too but it turned out that I needed a T who's more flexible with a supervisor supporting that flexibility. My ex T got discouraged by her supervisor from hugging me, touching my hand, going a little bit over time. It was not encouraged in the modality she practices.
Whereas my current T is a much better fit because she's trained in treating trauma, is very flexible yet strong consistent boundaries, understands that we're way more than our symptoms. T believes in partly meeting some emotional needs while strengthening my coping skills, working with me to build a support network etc. Getting my emotional needs partly met in therapy has reduced the agonising longing to be seen, heard, heart loved, mind known.
I still miss ex T 3 years on. Really. But the longing has lessened over time.
|
I'm going to chime in here with an outside possibility that you're not being "taken for granted" so much as not being treated as "special."
I may be way off base here, but an important part of my therapy has been to understand that I'm not a special case in as many ways as I'd previously thought. I believe that therapists can sometimes enroll in our dramas to the extent that they collude with us around our "specialness." When that eventually, inevitably fades, it's jarring and deflating to the extent that the alliance is seriously threatened. Then the therapy changes and other work can emerge.
I think this dynamic is present in most human relationships, because we are all indeed special, but it can also be a stumbling block.
The other issue that I want to raise is that I think you are more interested in your therapist than you are in yourself, to a certain extent. Why are you so focused on what he thinks of you, rather than what you think of yourself?
I don't mean these comments to be hurtful.
You are such a nuanced, intelligent poster...your writing and observations are exquisite. Is it possible that you think too much?