Im afraid to ever go because my parents... just couldnt handle it. I deal with everything on my own. They would freak out if I ever checked myself in- demand to take control of my life and well... thats my greatest fear.

They wouldnt understand and it would hurt. Theyd probably make me drop out of school and just- no. But I do wish I COULD without being afraid of that.

My dads a narcissist so... it would end up being all about him if I ever went. There would be no regard for my feelings and it would just be bad. Controlling. I dont want to be controlled long term,