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sister said:

Pachy, I suspect we have a lot in common, both with the experience of sometimes bumbling T's and the experience of trying to have our needs met and being bashed for that. (Which probably makes it even more difficult to ask for help from T.)

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I can see both your points here. When past experiences condition you to alway expect that every question asked or weakness displayed will leave you open for attack-- you tend not ask the questions or show your weaknesses. The skill of the T becomes really important.