Hi PC. A major source of my self-esteem issues that I've experienced over the past year has been the criticism and shame that I have received from friends over masturbation and how I respond to sexual urges. Although I love masturbation and use it as a peaceful escape and for its health benefits (ie sleep aid, clear sinuses), I am so confused about the practice that I even start to question if I am even normal or not in terms of my sexuality, no thanks to some abusive churches I used to attend who frequently criticized me for the practice. I become aroused at the sight of gorgeous women I see on the Internet or pictures (celebs on the red carpet, SI Swimsuit models, etc), the beauty found in pregnant women, and fantasies about loving, two sided sexual relationships once I marry. Furthermore, I don't watch porn and typically don't care for graphic depictions of sex, genitals, or looking at naked women. Having sex is never the basis of any of my opposite gender friendships, and I am remembered for having a positive attitude, a tender nature, and most of my female friends feel comfortable around me. I always try to find something beautiful about any woman I find, and am not afraid to point that out. Still, my friends have brainwashed me into believing that having a sexual desire and any responses I experience to these urges (masturbation) are simply heinous, unless I am married. I have since found support from my doctor parents and other blogs/articles discussing how masturbation and fantasies are normal, but I still must ask:
1. Is masturbation ok?
2. Are my arousal methods "dirty" or "evil" like what my friends tell me?
3. How can I stand up for people who lay on guilt trips for my sexual practices?