Susan Shapiro wrote a novel about her couch trip. I loooooove her and took a writing class from her. Her t "prescribed" an hour long hug from her h after sessions as a regular thing.

I didnt mean to be using jargon in my previous post. I meant, why DIDNT you know if you were safe at home? For example, my dad gave me a creepy feeling, but i also knew he should not be telling me stories like certain details about his dating life. But until i nailed all that stuff down, it was always the other person who decided if i was safe with them or not, including t. The other person "held the definition" - i have no idea where that expression came from!

I basically had no values - it was what the other person wanted. My true self (winnicott) was buried far far away. I think your t is stressing stating his boundaries because he sees you are vulnerable just as i was, so he is telling you that you are safe. Mostly he is trying to get the message across to your inner child or whoever, who wasnt safe the first time around. Then it's the job of adult you to take her in hand until she can get home for a hug session with bf.

I mean, thats how i would do it. I had a neighbor who would see me returning from t and say hey come on over, and i eventually had to "recuse" myself. So, what kind of decompression period do you need after t, or what?