I appreciate everyone's thoughts greatly. I agree and have tried to communicate this emotional neglect to him and his automatic response is to throw something back he knows will bother me somehow, even if it's not really related. Today I left a note which I thought would be non-threatening enough since I'm not crying or yelling in it...and also a printout of a psych central article about emotional neglect and abuse. My note tactfully stated that since he has outright told me that "didn't do anything" and that my problems are my own and have nothing to do with me, I felt I should explain or it would never get any better.

He wrote all over it marking out words changing pronouns to point at me, and called me a liar about something I clearly remember and have confirmed with someone else. Also wrote "Passive Aggressive Narcissism" big across it.

He keeps making his case worse. Then later after a failed attempt at communication (he yelled about how I always chase him off yelling) he put a cute shaped carrot on my work desk and told me to "please accept this as a peace offering"

And it's supposed to all be fine now. He went to bed without anything else and when I asked about talking he said there's no solution to no problem.

My parents...separated when I was 12 and I agree, it's often worse to stay together "for the kids"..
My mom died 6 years ago of multiple cancers. Too poor to get help until it was too late
My father had years previously had broken his hip but was too poor to have it set properly and then had a stroke. He had trouble eating too fast because of it. His hip hurt too much and he went in for a replacement and next morning was unattended with his oatmeal and choked on it and died.

I don't have a therapist. I need one. I can't afford it. My state doesn't cover mental health services as far as I know. Florida.