I guess it is over. House closed today. I walked around aimlessly, don't really feel like moving in or doing anything. I have 5 weeks before my lease is up so I have time but is this normal? It doesn't feel real at all. The house feels like it is someone elses house and I am trespassing. I do have someone that will help me with picking paint colors and whatnot so I can make it more my style. Hopefully that will help.

Even more surreal is my realtor really will keep in contact with me, so I think a casual friendship is possible. I don't know if I could be more pathetic, excited about a casual friendship(it is a very rare event in my life). Plus, she wants me to help her nephews learn a bit about programming and asked me to help, which is so exciting to me! Pathetic.

I really am worried about seizures or whatnot. About an hour after signing my life away yesterday I had a large seizure aura, it felt like getting hit in the head with a bat. Once I settle into a new normal, I really worry about that. Plus my psychosis is not helping. The only question is what part of the VA hospital do I get admitted to.