I'm so disorganized. I can't find what I want to wear, I have to stop elsewhere to get breakfast and I really don't have the time. I feel like all I do is complain. I am so sick of myself, I should have done all of this. And now I am procrastinating more waiting for my meds. to kick in. I have so many goals, things I want to change and work takes all of my energy. My meds. work at work (Modafinil 400 mgs)but don't last when I get home from work. Modafinil is thought to maybe help with depersonalization, and I'm wondering if it does work to stave off that during work (or not?). After work, I sometimes use something to relax me and calm me down which saps my energy (Ativan, etc.). That is thought to encourage depersonalization. I am so angry with myself. I am going to make myself do all of the things I need to do this weekend. Since I've just concretely become aware of my DP episodes, I am going to have to notice when this happens. Ughhh. I just want to be normal and productive at work and at home. I'm tired and sad and frustrated.