There's a woman in my apartment complex who is quite friendly. She's older. Around 60s. She used to always ask me "how my job search was coming" and "did you find a job yet?" It was incredibly uncomfortable for me. One time over the winter, she asked, and I was assertive. I put up a boundary. I said "No, and I'm not talking about it to people." I was so proud of myself, and she'd left me alone about it since.

Today, we were both in the laundry room together, and we chatted a little. I think it's fine to be friendly with her even though I put up that boundary (I've since made it a point to be friendly w/ her while not discussing my job). But she asked me. "So any word on the job front? how's that going?" I just felt so awkward. I froze. I sometimes want to just say "I'm on disability." But part of me, doesn't want people knowing that. I get this feeling from her that she might be a gossip. I don't know. I thought I'd heard her talking about me once briefly in the hallway. She has a loud voice, and was out in the hall. She has also complained to me about the people in the apartment who smoke, which I felt like was tacky to complain about. We were right in front of the complex, and people could have walked out and heard us. If she talks about them. Maybe she'd talk about me and tell people in the complex I don't know that I am on disability.

There's a huge part of me, that just wishes I was normal. I wish I COULD talk about my life with this person. But I am not comfortable. And I am not normal. And it is none of her business. I literally froze when she said that to me today, and was just like "no, I'm looking for volunteer work." I was so uncomfortable and ended up leaving the conversation. She didn't even seem to get that I was uncomfortable.

I was going to ask here, what people think about disclosing disability to people. But the truth of the matter is, I am not comfortable, and I want to respect my feelings. I think it's ok to keep putting that boundary up. Perhaps it is sad that, if I were "normal," and had a job, we might have a different, more friendly on my part relationship. But this is the reality. Should I back off from being so friendly with her? I think I might. I feel like I need to protect myself.

What do you think? Am I doing the right thing? I'm not sure how to get more comfortable disclosing my disability. I have to some people. But they were closer emotionally and I felt safe doing so. Should I take a chance and just try not care? I understand that everyone has different comfort levels with this kind of stuff. I guess this is where my comfort is at (discomfort disclosing).