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Originally Posted by rdgrad15
Anyone feel like if someone has a tendency to do something to others, they will most likely do it to you? There have been times where I hear someone say they bailed out on someone and gave a dumb excuse or they faked a friendship with someone else at one point. Then they will say they would never do it to you. As much as I respect their honesty, it makes me nervous since I feel like if they did it to others, they would do it to me. Once someone admitted to faking a friendship with a couple people in the past and I had a bad feeling she would do it to me even though she said she would never do it to me. That person turned out to be a fair weather friend, just cut me off. I had a feeling she would do that. She apparently just talked to me out of boredom until she graduated and got into a new relationship and just didn’t care for me in general. She did the same things to others as well, treating friends as disposable.
Someone else admitted to bailing out on others a few times and making up a reason when she really just simply didn't want to hang out. Then she said she would never do it to me. I bet she has done it just because she has done it to others. That is fine if she doesn't want to hang out but I'm sure some of those times she actually made up a reason when she probably just simply didn't feel like hanging out. Basically I just feel like when someone tends to do stuff to others, they most likely would do it to you even if they said they would never do it to you. When people say they wouldn't do it to you but they do it to others, are they just trying to be nice? Just wondered. I feel like that is a common thing people say just out of politeness.
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A big FAT yes, of course they would also bail on me. I am speaking from experience. I ignored my intuition and have repeated this mistake many times, thinking that I had made a genuine connection and developed a true friendship and then boom! This, of course, made me realize that if someone is gossiping or bad mouthing others, they will do the same to me. And. the most important lesson of all was about the victims. Someone who plays the victim, which i used to have a lot of compassion for, is the actual bully. It took me a lot of heart aches to realize this.
So, if someone is rude to others, they are likely to be rude to you as well; if someone bails on others, they are likely to bail on you as well; if someone gossips about others, they are likely to gossip about you as well; and lastly if someone is playing the victim and saying how many times she/he has been wronged by others, he/she is likely to be the bully herself.
Please be careful. Listen to your intuition.