I was all about being by myself at work today. It is so nice not to have to deal with my social anxiety. I'm so awkward. I came home to disorganization in my room. I need to go to the store and don't feel like it. And so forth and so on. However, at work, I was all about analyzing the students scores and planning how to remediate and was all into it.

Why can't I be that person at home? Why do I, at work, enjoy being organized and enjoy contemplating data from the students and THEN come home and just feel horrible because I feel all over the place and don't feel like doing anything? I feel like I am brain dead, and I feel so exhausted. My allergies are making me sneeze dramatically (glad no one was in my room) and my room had the heat on full blast (it felt anyway).

I'm really not miserable, not in pain. I just wish I could change the way I am but I am just so deadenly (?) tired. My brain and body are done for the day. I really wish things like this could change as it drives me crazy. How overwhelming.

I suppose I will formulate a plan either later on tonight, or tomorrow when I am not so exhausted from work.