I feel closer to you in email than in person.
In person, the closeness is too scary.

My feelings about finding out that you're a cancer survivor are mixed so so much with my feelings about S's cancer...and I feel like I've found out you have cancer. Not had, but have. Also, S said his stomach is hurting, and I'm fairly convinced it's his lymphoma and that he's about to be quite ill and need to start treatment and that I'm seriously either never seeing him again OR will only get to see him one last time before he dies...and I can't imagine him being dead . I can't imagine him not existing . I can't imagine him not being there on the other end of the phone. It's killing me.