last night I found myself (getting angry) at an event on tv ... and I said out load in front of my family ... "well I guess I need another pill" ... ( I did not take one ) ...

but I shocked myself ... I have willingly traded ( calm - emotionless life ) for the normal human responses .... I realized my humanity , my very essence , is now a dumb downed shell of my previous life ...

so sad ... even sadder I plan on staying this way ... Love ... Tigger .