I think a lot of it is social norms. Girls are taught at a young age to take care of others, don't make too much noise, don't be a burden, don't be selfish. And girls see or saw their moms taking care of everyone else first.

I remember once several years ago I was joining some other women in my husband's family for a bridal shower and my husband was staying home to be with our toddler boys. My mother in-law kept saying that he was "baby sitting". I would say no ... he is taking care of his children. There is a difference in the meaning.

If he were going out and I was staying home, she would not say that I was "baby sitting". It would just be a given that I was taking care of my children. A man taking care of his own children is not baby sitting.

Other social norms that I have noticed is that sometimes in my husband's family the women stand in the kitchen while the men sit in the dinning room and eat. And then when the men are finished and either leave the room or push back from the table .. the women come in and sit down. That was so strange to me the first time I encountered that. When I asked my sister in-law why in the world would they do that - she said that it wasn't always possible to get all the cooking finished at the same time and so she would just stay in the kitchen and bring stuff out as it finished cooking.

I was floored. It is a challenge to get dinner items to be finished cooking at the same time - why is it the rolls always get left to the end ?? I do not follow my husband's family tradition in that I put what is ready on the table and sit down with everyone else. When the timer dings .. often my husband will go get whatever (usually the rolls) and bring it to the table. When his family visits - I can tell this arrangement is just as strange to them as theirs is to me.

So anyway - a long winded thought on social norms that seem to place women 2nd class and always putting others before themselves.