Congrats on 9 months sober. I know what you mean about not fitting in any groups, but that's OK. Today's 'programs' are demanding and just as long you stay sober, you'll be fine.

I've been absent from the fire water for about one year now, but not by choice. I got rushed to hospital for liver failure, I guess you can figure out the rest, but I almost died.

I'm not on any meds again for my brain waves, but will be soon when I see a new pdoc for bipolar ll.

I will never forget reading this when I felt like you do.

"Healing is a matter of breaking the dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that are causing you difficulty and distress. It’s not easy to change lifelong habits. Choosing to pause, reflect, and then act in new ways will feel unnatural and uncomfortable at first. But with time you’ll form new habits that help you maintain your emotional balance and stay in control."