I've had issues with self-esteem for a long, long time. For years, I have hated myself and actively rejected the idea of feeling good about myself, which I think has played a role in my depression. I believed I was right to feel the way I did and thought that thinking otherwise would be "wrong" and would allow me to become even worse. If I had any evidence of me not being worthless trash, I would twist it to make it seem less valid and interpreted things in ways that validated my beliefs about myself.

But now I'm realising that there's nothing to gain from obsessive self-hate. I need to stop being a bully to myself. While I have a long way to go in dealing with my mental health issues and developing self-esteem, I think I'm finally ready to work towards accepting myself.