Thanks to both of you.

I probably downplay how much effect that being sober and honest has had on me. In an odd way, my BP 2 helped me get sober. I had an extended episode of expansive hypomania where I would tell anybody that would listen about my problems with alcohol and drugs or pretty much anything else they wanted to know. I told my primary I had been playing her to get higher doses of adderall and tussionex for the cough that I got when I had post nasal drip. I told her, my family and many of my friends about how often I was sneaking drinks. By the time the episode ended, I was committed to getting clean and sober. It was hard for the first couple of months after I crashed from the hypomania, but I didn't deep dive into depression and not drinking may have had something to do with that. Since I have been more on an even keel, I don't think about drinking or drugs too much.