It's interesting how much one word in the same type of comment can change the connotation.

Certain phrases are going to call for the use of "am" over "have" and vice versa. you could say I have diabetes or you could say I am diabetic and neither way of saying it has to imply that it "defines" you if you don't want it to. other people will probably decide how much they think that defines you in their own opinion regardless of wether you use have or am. Personally I think it's mostly just splitting hairs. because either type of phrasing leads the listener to the same general conclusions of what you are trying to say, wether you use the words have or am.