Hi Mulan,
I can relate to some of your dissociative symptoms. I cannot relate to some others you mention. What does this mean? Nothing.
PTSD/C-PTSD are very complicated diagnoses, with lots of nuances. I am not convinced we all experience this in the same ways, although we all may share some similarities.
Have you been able to obtain the opinion of a mental health professional?
I am concerned about your feeling better, which possibly a therapist might help?
Please take care!

WC