Laurie, if you are not a person of color, with all due respect, despite your good intentions, you don't really understand the struggle and thus are not in a position to comment on what people of color should do to deal with or fix something you will never have to deal with. Being easily sunburned because you are pale is not at all the same as being taught your whole life through messages absorbed on an overwhelming scale that your skin color is viewed as inherently less attractive. Paler people are represented and praised on a global scale. People with darker skin and without white European features are not.

Mattdad is allowed to feel upset about this. Due to the global history of European colonization, we have been conditioned to view non-white features as THE standard of beauty, and despite increased efforts to combat this, it is still a huge issue that can't just be loved away. It's not as simple as choosing a "good vibes only" sort of approach. Anger and frustration in the face of a world who continues to disregard this problem is a reasonable response. Anger is not inherently a bad thing. Anger at the erasure of our struggles, recognizing how you have been mistreated, is the start of reaching that point of self-acceptance . It is an extremely useful tool people of color can hold onto to remind ourselves that what we go through is real and that we deserve to have our problems with socially reinforced internalized self-hatred of our skin color validated in a world that continues to invalidate us.

I 100% agree with emptynightmare that the best way to combat this self hatred is to surround yourself with a like-minded community who shares your identity and understands this problem, and is able to provide support via self-celebration when we question our self-worth. It also helps to read up on this subject as much as you can, look for books or podcasts or social media articles and faces that validate us and can discuss this in depth to help us better navigate the issue. Your skin color is beautiful and perfect. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. You are allowed to love the skin color you are born with. <3