Hi NJTech,

Crossdressing and pantyhose fetishes are not that uncommon. I have worked on a forum for crossdressing and/or transgendered people in the past.

While I don't share your fetish, I understand this can feel very compelling, as it is a part of self-expression.

Some cities have crossdressing clubs, where participants have lockers and keep their clothing. They dress when they get to the club. They spend time together at the club and then change into their usual clothing before they leave the club. I don't know if such a club is available to you?

Other times, people rent a hotel room and spend time dressed within the room, which sounds very lonely. Sometimes someone who enjoys crossdressing can find another person who enjoys this and they share rented space and times together.

As you know, when it's not a "secret," some meet, dress and go out together just like any other groups of friends.

I am sorry you feel you must keep this from your wife; I understand she objects. I can't help but think she will somehow catch on to the fact that something is going on, and will then totally mistrust you.

I'm encouraging you to tell her and let her choose if she'd like to share this with you or if she'll tell you that you are on your own with this. I have known of many couples who have made it through this and set aside time within their schedule to participate together. I have chatted with many wives who have helped their husbands with fashion tips, make-up tips, etc.

I am not 100% sure of how I would handle it if I were in your shoes or in your wife's shoes. Yet, I am hoping you can find a way to share this and keep the family healthy and intact.

Have you ever considered trying to negotiate this with the support of a couples counselor?

I wish you the best. I hope things work out in a way that you do not have to keep secrets from your wife.

Call me crazy, but I think the "secrecy" part might end up being the deal-breaker.

In this culture, women can get away with dressing in a very masculine style. Men cannot get away with dressing in a very feminine style. Everyone needs to have a safe place to express themselves.

Respectfully,

WC