Graystreet;
You may not want to do this but I strongly suggest that you do not communicate or date anybody, at least for a while. I mean a while.. may be a year or so...I strongly suggest that you practice being alone 24/7 for a very long time until you feel very comfortable with by yourself and doing everything by yourself, suffering alone, laughing alone, embracing joy alone... Practice putting the idea/concept of romance on hold for a while. When we are in love with love and in love with romance, our perception of the other person or the relationship gets impacted and we cannot see clearly. We become delusional due to our craving for love and connection hence we end up making mistakes (i.e., falling in love with the wrong person or trusting too soon or becoming jealous or not respecting their boundaries).
I am suggesting this because that is the path to emotional independence... I do not think we can love anyone or be loved by anyone unless we achieve this emotional independence.
I feel your pain as I have been there so please do not think that I do not understand. I do understand so well and in fact that is the reasons why I am suggesting the hiatus from filling your heart with bunch of junk.