I wake up in a pretty good mood, like today, and I think I'm going to make some coffee, get some things done and just have a chill day with no fuss or drama.

And then the sheer effort and annoyance of being alive, dealing with others, and having to think overwhelms me and I'm back to being depressed. I don't think my meds are working. They never do for very long. They've tried SO MANY with me. I honestly think my pdocs are at a loss as to what to give me anymore.

I am getting a little done, though. And I got some things done yesterday--filled up two trash bags with random junk I've accumulated over the 9 years I've lived here. Made a Goodwill pile to take in tomorrow. Made a pile of books to sell to the used book store. Turned in my online homework (which is so easy; it's a film criticism class). Today, I need to photograph and list some clothing for eBay. That is so tedious, but it makes me a little money. And I can't see donating all these clothes; some of them are new.