what about marriage/ family counseling?
i hope he has not physically hurt you to cause you to feel scared. i can only speculate that maybe he is frustrated and doesnt know what else to do. sounds like he has feelings that are strong enough to cause him to be upset. and of course people say things without thinking of the consequences when theyre upset.
relationships are so complex i dont think there is just one answer here. but safety is a basic need so you gotta do what you need to do to feel safe.

P.S. it isnt beyond repair ...if there is love left and a willingness to improve it, then be optimistic.