First off, yes I know there is a special section for therapy and I post there often, just wanted to get other views from different users.

Ok so I've told my therapist I love him. It's not a romantic love, its more friend/family type love. I compared it for him, with how I feel about my dogs. He gets it. He handled it amazing and has been saying the word a lot, because I wont actually say it, I wrote it down to tell him.... and he's trying to get me to be ok with it.

Problem is, the way I grew up, such things are NOT ok.... no emotions or affection in my family and love was only used manipulative ways. I thought I loved my family at a young age but looking back, it was more because I thought that was what you had to do. They don't love me, I don't love them.

I do however love my dog (I had a second dog but he passed) and dogs have been something I've connected with in life more than any human. It's easy for me to say and feel love for them.

I keep emotionally distant from people intentionally.... but this just sort of happened. I'm scared and confused and full of intense shame. I am not used to feeling love of any type for people.... and I guess I just need some thoughts, besides talking with him about it, how can I get myself to learn to accept and be ok with it instead of thinking I am dirty and awful and I have this shame, like if anyone in my family found out, I'd be mortified. I wont tell anyone that I actually know because of this intense shame. I feel trapped and so stupid, help!