For me it was my "training", I took care of my Mom all of her life... and that was "just" the expectation. My father did not want to deal with my Mom's illness... so.. from a very early age - that was his expectation.

Then, my Mom's expectation was that I would take care of my father.

so the training was kinda "two fold"...

My ex-husband... was very much "take care of me - as in him" - and nothing for me... but then he was also a very abusive person so.. I would not have "learned" self care for myself.. from him.

I don't believe in all of my life that I have ever had anyone take care of me.. so I have never experienced that "feeling"... so knowing even what "self care" is... is like a "foreign language"... I do believe I am learning the "language" now... and it is making me a better person.

So to "sum" it up... I think that the concept of "self care for women" is individualist... and that it is a "learned" behavior...

And.. I am happy to say... I am finally learning...

a very, very good thread...