I had another dream, I forget what it was, but one of my first crushes was in it, and I think about her a lot, 20 years on.

I never really had any sexual feelings about her, nor did I really think about being in a relationship with her, I just wanted to be more like her, or I was jealous, and I suppose I still am, even though she wasn't particularly outstanding. She was just an attractive, popular person with a nice personality, and I imagine she has had boyfriends as well as friends and she is now married.

So in many ways she is my opposite, she has succeeded in all areas in which I have failed.