I'm disgusting. I'm disgusted with myself for being such a chronic complainer. I have worked so hard over the past few years to reduce complaining and yet I still keep complaining. I bloody know I drive away people because no one likes being around such a pessimistic,negative, chronic whiner like me.

When I regularly self harmed, I complained LESS online and offline -- Maybe you're wrong about reaching out to friends. I lose them anyway because I complain so damn much. Maybe I should never have given up self harm.