thank you so much for your support. As for the trust. my trust with my therapist has grown as I have opened up with him more and much of the work that I do with my therapist is either written or by email. He is amazed at the tons of email I do send him. If I didn't write anything or email anything my sessions with him would not have any content. I cannot discuss things with him face to face, but I am comfortable emailing him. at his last visit he read out one of my emails in front of me and I just curled up into the fetal position and I covered my ears so I couldn't hear him. It was after this incident that he expressed his frustration. He always insists that I CAN talk to him like I email and he really wants me to but I dont know how to. Him telling me I can, does not instill confidence in me. It all seems to be just an impossibility. thanks once again.