I've been relying so much on this forum lately, thank you! Unfortunatly, it is already too late for a lot of the good advice I got here.

Is it just validation to be blamed? It feels the opposite to me. I enjoy the moments when we are getting along, when we enjoy each others company. I have issues with confidence and this does not help with it. But, yeah, you are right to some extend. I don't have something as a goal at the moment except that I crave a deep relationship, a partner to start a family with.

I don't agree that he is immature. I acted a lot more immature and irrresponsible in many situations.

I know I wrote we can't continue and that we should end it. It is just that it is too late and I don't want to "sneak out" at this point. There are moments when he needs me. Of course there are other moments when I just remind him of all of his bad thoughts.

Maybe I am just giving mayself excuses. I can't imagine what my life would be like if we would break up. The thought of it is just draining all energy out of me.