Yes, you are. Worse, you are making excuses for his bad behavior. You have to understand that, because you’re willing to put up with his poor treatment and bad behavior, it’s not going to get better. He has no incentive to do better, because why should he? He can be nasty to you, and know that you’ll blame yourself for it.

If you’re willing to live like this, with being put down and made to feel less-than for the duration of this relationship, then that is a choice only you can make.