You do not have to "end it." Lots of people, including myself, make the decision to stay in a relationship that has some profound problem. I agree with the poster above who warns you that this will not get easier. But, no matter how "toxic" a relationship is, you still have the option of continuing in it. Considering that option is your right. If you decide not to leave him, then your task is to figure out how to "be" in this relationship and not become unhinged mentally yourself. This guy needs a strong partner who can survive the turmoil he creates. Maybe you are up for that.

Your task then is to figure out what is justified and what is not. His reaction to the revelations about your past is not justified - IMO. And it's not really even about you. If you were a virgin with no sexual past to upset him, he'ld find something else. He has an emotional problem that you did not create. It was there long before he met you. I am not suggesting you get into arguing with him about this. Just the opposite. To mentally survive being in a relationship with him, you need to understand that he becomes irrational. There is no point arguing with a person over something that person has become irrational about. And there is no amount of reassurance you can offer that will satisfy him. This is what you need to understand, so that you can be the adult in the room when he goes into full-blown neurosis - which is what he is in the midst of doing right now.

Only you can decide whether or not this guy is worth holding on to. If your heart tells you that - to you - he is, then carry on. But don't buy into his neurotic conception of things, or you'll go nuts too. One of you has to stay sane. He is going to need a lifetime of emotional support that is very taxing to provide. Maybe you're up for that. To give it, you have to see things for how they really are.

What's pivotal here is that he does not seem to want to end his relationship with you. He wants you, but he doesn't want you. So he's driving himself crazy - literally - because he can't reconcile this conflict within himself. That's probably the story of his life. Think back. He probably has a history of being in the throes of severe inner conflict over issues he cannot resolve. That is immaturity. Becoming mature means coming to terms with reality. He has trouble with that . . . big trouble. He always will have. Life disappoints him. It always will . . . because life is inherently disappointing. Accepting and adapting to that is the big hurdle that each human being faces. He won't acceot that. Maybe he can't. This is why he is in a locked ward for psychiatric care.

So the solution is not for you to agree that "Yes, I am an immoral woman and the scum of the earth." You're not . . . and you know that. The solution is for you to show him that life goes on, despite disappointment. All is not ruined. He's telling himself that it is. Don't buy into that. Don't affirm that by being profusely apologetic, as if you had commited some great crime against him. You haven't. On the other hand, don't bother arguing with him over this. You'll get no where. Just role-model for him the art of moving on. He's stuck. Don't be stuck with him on this. Kindly insist on looking ahead, not backward. He'll get over this. But he'll keep wanting to revisit this issue. Simply decline to do that with him. (I know it's not simple.)

You do not have to let how you feel about yourself be dictated by his craziness. He cannot "make you feel" anything, if you are strong enough to remain centered around your own concept of reality. That strength is what he requires in a partner.