Hi, I am also a person of colour and I understand how you are feeling. I was a black child bought up with a loving white family in a little UK village. I was a bit of a 'novelty' to the locals and accepted as 'one of them' until I grew older and started asking questions about people of my colour. I also felt that to have a good life I needed to 'scrape away my colour' and like you I used sandpaper and metal scouring pads.

All I was able to learn at school is that my ancestors were slaves and trouble makers and people of my colour made up a lot of the prison population world wide. Our men were only suitable for manual jobs and could only get on in the world if they were a good sportsman. Our women made good housewives, nannies and cooks.

it was not until I moved to a city, away from my sheltered upbringing that I realised as a race we had done some amazing things in medicine, architecture, and mathematics. The people I was now surrounded by were as intelligent and diverse in their work and life as any white person. The more I researched and studied, the more I realised my race and skin colour was one I should be extremely proud of.

Like others have said, you should find and mix with members of your own race to build up confidence and pride in who you are. Non of this will lead to your skin getting lighter in tone but it will build you up to be proud of who you are.

Good luck & hope for your future.