I can relate too. I haven't "felt bipolar" in a long time. I think I'm overmedicated so I've been experimenting with my meds, and nothing terrible has happened although I've been just a teeny bit hypomanic, which always happens at this time of the year. You can almost set your watch by it. But my family noticed I was getting over-amped so I went back to taking my meds as prescribed. I tend to forget how bad things were in the past and I want to be a more exciting person, but I'm too chicken to take myself off meds entirely. That's probably a good thing, as I'm financially solvent and I like where I live. I don't miss mania, but I sure do miss the energy and excitement of hypomania. I wish I could just live in that state all the time. But, don't we all?