You know, life is what it is. Sure top of the class, honor student, talented, but a few years in college life crashed.
I can either morn what shoulda been...the dream...or accept life as is and deal with it from there.
Then I got hit with a whammy: a multiple personality disorder type thing.....but...keep going. Life is to live regardless of flavor, sometimes sour sometimes sweet.
I gave up on expectations long time ago because expectations kills.
I hope you find your drive.