Yer sher in it lately. That fraud feeling I know so well. That made it hard to dx too, as soon as I get to the doc's, why i'm fine, no problem, etc. That feeling like it "happened to someone else" too, I often say i feel like I woke up in someone else's life today. You almost need to have note cards to refer to to remember all these things for the doc. Do your best. There may be a med that will help knock down the worst aspects of that rapid deep cycle. So describing it will be important.

Try not to just scare yourself to pieces by over scrutinizing yourself either. On the one hand there is like this exhiliration to have finally solved a puzzle of some sort, and on the other there becomes this morbid fascination from which we are all but unable to pull away. I find myself still gawking at the train wreck in my head sometimes, even though I should be used to it by now, and even though it causes a mental traffic jam.

Metaphor belaboring aside, things are what they are, and the idea of a thing is never the same as the thing.