Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1
I thought this was a joke, but realize the op is serious. I'm flabbergasted by it all. I am speechless that you feel this way. I feel bad for you that you feel like you want to be Caucasian and cannot accept yourself as you are. You know if only vanilla was the only flavor in this world, the world would be a very dull place to live. It is nice there are other flavors. It gives the world diversity and a blend of flavors too. If you believe others discriminate you on the basis of your skin color, then you must speak up and fight back. I would be proud of your uniqueness. I don't think that trying to look white is the answer to your problem though, but a deeper-rooted problem that needs much analyzing and understanding. Do your parents make you feel this way too? Do they try to build your self-confidence by what you do not by how you look? I hope that one day you feel confident and proud of yourself despite your skin color. This takes doing the best you can whatever you do. Appearances are not everything once people get to know you. In the end, looks fade away and what is left inside matters more than how you looked in your youth. You are young now and are trying to find your identity. Once you reach my age, you will realize what you wanted as a youth is not what you needed as a person to survive in this very tough world. May you find peace and happiness!
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Bpforever, your intentions are kind, but tbh this kinda sounds like it was written by a white person? I just don't know of a single person of color that has ever been this blown away by the thought of another poc learning to hate themselves for their appearance, given that it's so common for us. Some looks may fade with age, but skin color does not. As much as I wish our insides actually mattered more than our outsides, we live in a world that tells us otherwise. One cannot outgrow the unconscious bias of others -- we can deal with it the best way we know how, but we can't just brush it off bc it still has an unavoidable real-life impact on us. But I agree, it's very important take pride in your identity, given it does not damage the lives of anyone else.
I certainly didn't get the impression that this post was about a search for identity though -- it sounds to me like it's more about how we've been conditioned to see skin color and that MattDad is looking for more ways to unlearn this damaging mindset. Even some of the most loving and supportive parents of color can be susceptible to teaching their children this message, given how deeply it permeates every aspect of our society.
This is not to say that how we are raised doesn't have any impact on our self image or actions in the present, but while understanding how this affects us is indeed important, reducing the issue at hand to being the result of Matt's upbringing minimizes the impact this socially normalized attitude has on people of color on a daily basis.