It is often through the 'talking' and 'discussing' that you allow yourself to consciously access and connect with your deepest emotions - and it is allowing yourself to connect with and experience those sensitive emotions that facilitates the healing process. Others can help to 'stir up' mental & emotional energy within us that we otherwise wouldn't have accessed or conjurred up ourselves (because it's painful & uncomfortable).

Regarding your anxiety - have you researched hemp/cbd oil? If not, you should. Legal to order/purchase, anti-anxiety properties, minimal to no side effects, has other health benefits, etc....

I can really relate to elements of what you shared because I had a history of living with crippling depression, no self-worth, finding no joy/reward in life, and basically having wanted to be dead (no longer having this life experience).. Well it was a rollercoaster of a ride but I went through 'hell' and back and ended up completely healing myself. My state of being is entirely different now. I had to go through the darkness to find the LIGHT... It was all worth it and I wouldn't seek to change anything about my past now... It is for this reason and from this life experience that I see the LIGHT waiting for you at the end of the dark tunnel. You have to keep pushing yourself and keep going in order to reach it for yourself. I never imagined I was going to experience the healing and transformation that I did - but it happened! And I am no exception...