I'm sharing this because right now I want to get high more than anything on Earth. I need a release, a way to process what I'm thinking and feeling. So here I am, sharing this with you as a way to get out of my head and stop the craving.

I'm working on a new screenplay. I took the job because the main character is an addict and I wanted to explore that. It's a true story set in the early 70's when, as it happens, I wasn't alive. To start the research I sat down to watch a VH1 documentary about the history of drugs. It was quite good.

But what got to me was the coverage of subcultures. The 60's, 70's, 80's, and into the 90's, it was a barrage of images of freaks, musicians, artists, all doing drugs. And all I could see was my friends and I. We were the life. Rebel artists to the extreme and awash in drugs and alcohol.

For quite a few years my life hasn't been that way. I have a normal house, normal wife, normal kids. Normal, normal, normal. And right now, in this moment, I want my old life back. I want the all night parties, the drugs, the sense that we're all on the brink of doing something amazing. The feeling that we're in a drug enhanced journey of discovery and that immortal sense of being young. I want the high.

But, of course, those memories are all from the early times before things really fell apart. And even those early times weren't that great. But I'm romanticizing them now because I'm frustrated with my life now and I want that escape of getting %#@&#! up.

And it's important to note, I write more now than I ever did then. I'm closer to my dreams now than I was then.

So clearly this is just about the drugs.

Thanks for listening. I'll be fine. I just needed an outlet.

Cyran0...Still seven years sober.