Learning to trust again after being abused is a process and what you're going through with your boyfriend now is not unusual. I agree with others that therapy can help. I had similar dreams/nightmares when my husband and I were dating and first got married. I even punched him once when I was having a nightmare that I was being attacked again. The poor guy was trying to wake me and comfort me gently, but in that not quite awake state with the nightmare so real in my mind, I thought he was trying to hold me down (not him in my mind but my attacker) and reflexively punched him thinking I was protecting myself. Sigh . . . I felt so awful about it! My therapist explained it was like feelings I had kept in check to protect myself (allowing myself to open up emotionally or get close to someone again) can make you feel vulnerable for a bit. It can get better for you! Don't give up on you having a decent relationship with a decent guy!