Doesn't sound like she recovered from losing her husband and her mom so close together. Doesn't excuse her from any rifts between you, as her recovery and/or coping with grief is her responsibility. It was her choice not to seek counseling and/or support. After all that you've lost, it's certainly like losing her at the same time.

It's ok to be angry with her. Knowing myself, I'd be angry and hurt, too in such a scenario.