Hmm, you're saying the media and society are to blame for a person's self-esteem problem? Well, it could be true. I am not sure that not taking responsibility for one's thoughts and actions is a good reaction though. Yes, some media and some people are racist and no matter what you say or do, they won't change. Thus, the best reaction is to change your own reaction. My mother told me I was always ugly, and I started believing it. However, as I became older or just plain old, I realized my mother is another person and cannot control my thoughts or behavior. I am responsible for myself and cannot blame her for my own actions. May be when I was younger, I could have said that her actions caused me to do some bad things but as one becomes older, one usually knows what is right from wrong. I no longer blame her for my screwed up childhood or upbringing but focus on what I can do now for myself. As a child, I was beaten brutally too and went to school with bruises all over. I was thinking of running away too but nobody at my school ever asked me until they were too obvious and my parents pulled me out of school for awhile. I had a horrible childhood and am a high school drop-out. I somehow overcame this and went on to receive a GED and go onto professional graduate school.

Racism is similar to abuse in that one can blame one's behavior and actions on other's negativity but as a responsible adult, one has to differentiate and rise above this type of negativity. I believe much has to be done to alleviate racism in society and do agree with you that some media and people believe in white supremacy. However, to keep blaming them for everything that has occurred to a person may not be a constructive reaction. As a person who can relate to others who have suffered, I believe the best solution is to find peace with oneself and happiness with what one has. I could keep blaming my mother and family for making me as screwed up as a top. However, I have stopped doing this because 1. it is not productive 2. I can't change them 3. I can change myself only.Does this make sense?

For the op, he should find it within himself to be proud of his heritage and race. He is young from his picture, I surmise. He will reach my age one day and realize it is not what other's think about you that is most important but how you think about yourself. He will hopefully come to terms with his inadequacies and overcome such low self-esteem. He must or he will not survive in this crazy world. I wish the best for him and his search to find his true self. Self-love is of the utmost importance for one's sanity and well-being. I believe once he loves himself he will overcome his self-hatred, believe in himself, and be proud of who he is.