I noticed something - there were topics such as my crush, where while I didn’t say it, I just realised the problem - No one encouraged me, at least in the end.
I got nothing but “doesn’t mean anything” or “you need to be realistic”.
I need encouragement to whatever I do
But I’m afraid I am in such a dire condition I have no point in living. My mind will have ups and downs of regret, guilt, lots of regret, and wanting to suicide over and over again

I really wish someone would release suicide pills into the public. There’s no point for people like us ranting over and over to no end and no reaching point