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I got so complacent about my aloneness that if someone asks me to go out somewhere I cringe. At age 50 and years of crying over me having no friends and saying to myself "If you have no friends then that means you are not a friend", and thinking I was the problem. No I am not the problem. I just have not met anyone that I want to hang out with. Therapist have been telling me I need to find people to connect with. I am would stress over not finding anyone. I am not stressing anymore.
I have my little business, I am in school for massage therapy and plan on working towards being the most sought after massage therapist in the area, I have my little dog, I hired someone to do remote coaching. They program my workouts and food so I stay healthy.
Funny thing is I have a husband who is emotionally distant but sometimes at least there is another breathing body in the room but honestly I would not care if he was not here. He is just a convenience and pays the bills so that stress is not on me.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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