I am sorry you are finding yourself in such dire straights.

I recently finished the book: How the Body Knows Its Mind: The Surprising Power of the Physical Environment to Influence How You Think and Feel. There was a study where some people who had treatment resistant depression for years--depression so bad that they had frown lines--where treated with botox. Their depression improved because they were unable to frown. There have also been studies showing where people treated with botox feel less happy because they can't smile the way they once did.

I cited this book because there is a mind body connection. It is so important to make yourself shower, take a walk for exercise and sunshine, eat healthy food, get positive social, read uplifting things, etc. It is hard to do when we are depressed but if you force yourself to do more and more of these things, you will slowly begin climbing out of the hole you are in. Maybe for a pep talk, post more on here, check out helpful books at your local library -- perhaps a book like Feeling Good by David Burns or other books suggested in the Self help forum at PC. Since you can't afford therapy, see if there is a NAMI support group (https://www.nami.org/find-support/na...ami-connection) that meets in your area. You can overcome this if you decide to begin taking steps to get out of this hole. In the financial area, make sure you are taking all the help available to you from government and nonprofit programs (can you get aid to go to school for instance)--there is so much information about what is available by doing research on the internet. You are in a tough situation (you did not get there overnight) that you slowly need to take action and overcome. You can do it though it may take time. You are young and have so much potential.