Hi. I feel exactly the same way Nicolelee1968, and I've more or less withdrawn from social life through necessity of survival. It's a rough journey all right but it wasn't always like this for me, not to the extreme. Try not to project too far into the future and just do your best on a daily basis, keep challenging the boundaries. Everyone out there is on their own journey as well really. If you can find something good in the little things - a bird, a cat, a sunset, a smile - then that's okay.