Quote:
Originally Posted by graystreet
Thank you.
The man who hit me was my ex. We broke up over 15 years ago. Believe me when I tell you, this man has never hit another woman. I'm not making excuses for him; simply using him to back up why my most recent "relationship" was also likely my fault.
The issue for why I'm here is not a man who was driven, by me, to hit me because I was relentless in calling him names and putting him down and fighting with him (and yes, hitting him myself) until he simply couldn't take it anymore. This man did not do that prior to me. He hasn't done it since. I don't care what other victims of abuse want to tell me, I know him, I know our mutual friends, and they know his wife. I promise you; this is not happening.
But that isn't the issue for why I'm here. I'm in the place I'm in because, narc or not, the most recent one, J, simply couldn't handle me. No one can. And that's something I either have to learn to deal with, and learn to live without the love I've craved forever. Or choose not to continue to live with it. And that's the place I'm in right now.
|
You open up and tell these things and it has the power to help me personally. (small or no consolation, I know).
My woman is you. It's the same story, only I know what my problems are, because I'm me. But I can see how you're suffering and now I have renewed empathy for my woman who is hurting for all the same reasons.
I want to change how I am and approach her with empathy. I want to give her what she needs. Because I love her.
Is there hope? I don't know. It doesn't feel like it. But at least, thanks to you, I know that there is a person who hurts on the other side - not just someone who yells at me and hits me.
If i'm wrong for posting this I apologize. If it's insensitive or completely tone deaf, I apologize. I apologize a lot these days.
Cliche alert!! I hope you get what you need. I will hope as hard as I can. Who knows? Maybe there's some sort of karmic hope magic that will come of it.
But I'm grateful that you are so open.