Hi cool09, sorry that this experience you had in your past causes you to struggle "now" even though you have made so much progress in gaining your independence and have been able to work and be a lot more self sufficient in your life.

Keep in mind that back in the 90's treatments for challenges were lacking compared to now. The overall knowledge about different challenges people have are understood a lot better "now" then back in the 90's when yes often patients were treated with medications and antipsychotic medications were used much more than they should have been and are not used as much now as back then.

The important thing to embrace "now" is that while the program you did end up experiencing was poor and even scary, you have been able to get on your feet and thrive despite experiencing that in your past. There was so much misunderstood back then when it came to mental illnesses and how to best treat these patients compared to now.