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Old Mar 29, 2018, 04:49 PM
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katydid777 katydid777 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: georgia
Posts: 2,137
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyRae View Post
My head feels heavy.

My eyesight is a bit blurry because it feels like too much effort to focus them.

I feel like I'm half asleep,almost like I am sleep walking,like if I don't make a conscious effort to stay present I would drift away .

Conversations with others are off because when they talk to me it's taking a few seconds for their words to sink in. Then I have to think of a response but it's hard to.

Noises are amplified and my reaction to them are over the top.Each noise feels dangerous and I jump and let out a little scream.It doesn't make sense though since I feel so zoned out,IDK how my heart can instantly pound like that.

I sense danger lurking outside of my vision,like I wish I could see all the way around me,especially behind me.I sense some type of attack on me.

My loved ones don't feel like loved ones.They feel like dangerous enemies that I should be very cautious of and not trust.What are they plotting against me?Are they going to hurt me or kill me?Those are things I keep thinking.They ask me what's wrong but I won't dare tell then what I'm thinking.

I feel the urge to cry in my stomach but it feels stuck there.

My muscles are si tensed up I can't get them to relax.My jaws are clenched,ny shoulders are pulled high and it hurts to try to lower them.

I have been getting surges of panic,like adrenaline rushes.They feel so horrible and intense.IDK how I can be having them when I feel so zoned out.

I had a hard time sleeping last night and I kept thinking about something from the past,from my childhood but I can't think of what it was,when I try to my head feels numb.

All these different things are going on at once.And I have no clue what I was triggered by.

But I know it will all pass eventually and I will be fine.I just have to ride it out.

Can anyone else relate to what I am experiencing?
I go through a lot of that when i get triggered, but i havent learned how to handle it yet. I had a very good T, that after at least 2 years, i'm not sure how long, any way was able to get through my thick head that my life as it is, isn't normal, and i should be able to have a little happiness in it. But the bad thing is i lost her in Jan of this year, and they haven't gotten me another yet. And when they do, will i be able to continue from where she has gotten me, witch hasn't been very far yet? I hope so, I want to be happy for what ever time the good Lord gives me. But yes i react mostly like this!!!!!!! (((((((HUGS)))))))
Hugs from:
RubyRae