Also: I think you need a relationship.

At my low spot, described above, I moved and switched jobs. That didn't change me being alone, but those changes enormously helped. Life became bearable. Then, oddly enough, in my new neighborhood, I met someone.

Being bipolar doesn't mean you don't have other problems. I think you are chalking all your despair up to that. I'ld look elsewhere. There are bipolar individuals who are happier than you are.

It's a mind trap we set for ourselves when we attribute our despair to something that we see as permanent. Then, of course, despair makes sense.

There is way more we can change than we like to believe. Rejecting that is our excuse for why our life can't possibly be better.